The Best Version of You

Today was my first run since the 50K. As I've mentioned before, I'm not very good at feeling motivated to work out when I'm not training for a race. So, last week when I didn't feel like doing anything more than walking to the mailbox, I started to worry that my motivation was going to be MIA until I signed up for another event. (NOTE*** One of my so-called "sweat sisters" did, in fact, try to get me to sign up for a 50 mile run this November. But so far, I have held my ground with a firm..."I don't think so.")

Actually, on the drive home from Vermont last week, all of us talked about how much we were looking forward to sleeping in on Saturday mornings and not "having" to get up at 6:00am to go for long runs. That was on October 1. Today is October 9. We have "slept in" a total of ONE Saturday, and this afternoon we made plans to meet up at 7:30am this Saturday for a trail run. Why? Because we miss it that much. I think that after 12 years of practice, I might actually be a real runner now! I was really excited to go for my run today and I can't wait for my 7:30am run on Saturday! And do you know what I'm training for???....NOTHING! 

I think this perfect fall weather has something to do with my reclaimed inspiration to be outside running on the dirt roads, but there's more to it than just that. During my 4 mile run today I felt like me again. Nine days without running had already given me time to forget just how awesome I feel when I'm out there. Everything makes more sense when I'm running. And all of the overwhelming things that happened during the day are distant and not nearly as bad as they seemed at the time. I'm overcome with the confidence that if I can summon the energy to go for a run after a long day at work, I can do anything!

So, I'm wondering if everyone has a "thing" that makes them feel awesome? And if so, why don't they do it more often? It's like we know the secret to how to be a better version of ourselves, but we don't always have the energy to make it happen. And WHY don't we have the energy to feel awesome?!?!  It's a mystery. I think it goes back to the fear of not living up to our own expectations. Every effort we make towards our goals doesn't feel awesome. Some days what is supposed to make us feel "awesome" will make us want to puke or cry or crawl or give up. But in the end, when we're done for the day, we'll still be glad we did it. Because it WILL make us a better version of us.