Do It For Yourself

I returned to work on Friday full of motivation. My three-day reading training had left me feeling like I could make a profound difference in the lives of my students. So, when I found myself face to face with a class full of 8th graders that did not share in my eagerness for their success and learning, you can see how I would've been a bit upset.

I have worked pretty hard over these first few weeks of school to build a relationship with this particular group of kids. You might classify them as "rough around the edges," and I find myself appreciating their uniqueness. But, Friday morning when I was riding my "I am going to teach you SO much this year" high, they totally knocked the wind right out of me. And, instead of the hour ending with a sense of success, it ended with me giving them a firm lecture. It went something like this...."I cannot make you learn anything. This is a choice you have to make. If you want to get anything out of this class, you are going to have to work at it. I cannot do this for you. You have to do it for yourself."  GGggggrrrrr. Notice that this ggggrrrrr is not in quotes. But man, I was feeling it.

Then, Saturday morning I had another great run with my sweat sisters. We always come up with new things to chat about over the miles, and this run was no different. One of the topics that came up was how many moms get so caught up in their new role as moms that they "let themselves go." And not just in how they look, but that their whole sense of "self" is literally gone after they have a child. None of those girls are moms yet, and they all have the fear that that could happen to them. What if they don't have the motivation to get up at 6:00am and go for runs after they have children? What if they just don't care about their clothes or their hair or what they look like anymore after they have kids? And, through the conversation we decided that is all comes down to the fact that you have to do it for yourself. No one is going to do it for you, but if it is a part of what makes you you, you will still do it. It's what makes you happy and it's time to dedicate to yourself that will make you a better you for everyone else.

So, I had two very distinct "do it for yourself" conversations/talks on Friday and Saturday. Then, this morning I was feeling somewhat guilty on my way to church because deep down I hadn't really wanted to go to church. I just had a lot of things left on my "to do" list for the weekend and I was worried I wouldn't have time to get them all done. So I said a little prayer on my way to church that I would be receptive to the message and not distracted by my own agenda.

And, what do you know?! The pastor had his own little lecture to give to me this morning. (Well, not just me, but it sure felt that way!) One part of the sermon was about developing a closer relationship with God. I could tell that the pastor was getting pretty fired up as he told us that he could not make our relationship with God stronger. We had to do it for ourselves. Wow. I felt like he was giving me the same talking to that I had just given to my group of 8th graders, and he was dead on. It is time for me to do the work in that area. Just showing up on Sunday morning isn't making my relationship with God any stronger. If I want that to happen, I will have to do it for myself.

And so, my friends, that is the moral of today's story. Whatever it is that you want or need, it's time to do it for yourself. No one else can do it for you. 

Pretty Much Perfect

Over the last 5 days I have found myself really thinking about things more deeply than normal. I like it. I'm not sure exactly what has brought about this change, but I hope I linger in this place for a while. 

It started on Saturday, after my long run. The schedule said we were supposed to run 9 miles on Saturday, which seemed a bit too short to us. So, we decided we'd do 14. Well, we ended up running 11. It was probably the most entertaining training run of my life. All 5 of us that are running the 50K ultra marathon together in 9 days were there, plus another friend who just finished her first 50 mile race (WOOT! WOOT!). It was a 7:00am Saturday morning run, which no one was thrilled about, but we're busy girls with more on our weekend schedule than running, so ya gotta do what ya gotta do. Luckily, LA showed up with a dozen donuts! Granted, no one really wanted one before the run, but I at least pretended to be excited and ate half of one before we headed out on the trails. Immediately upon entering the woods it was obvious that this wasn't going to be a quick run through the forest. There were trees down blocking the trails all over the place. We were doing an equal amount of obstacle course climbing and running. 

 

Here's a picture of some of the girls trying "really" hard to move a fallen tree. Hahahahaha! Yup. We are dorks, and we love it. We also found a man-made rickshaw on the trails and decided to try it out. It was all fun and games until LA fell out. Oh wait. That was fun too! And it marked her second major fall of the day. 

After we finally completed our 11 miles of running, we celebrated in the parking lot with delicious donuts (that really did taste good at that point). And we talked about our upcoming trip to Vermont and all of the logistics. We even planned out our matching outfits. Oh. Ya.

On the drive home I couldn't help but smile as I thought about how lucky I am to A) have such an amazing group of girls to run with that are constantly making me laugh and B) be healthy enough to be able to literally enjoy an 11 mile run. 

So that was Saturday...

Then on Monday, as I ran laps around the driveway after work, Liam started talking to me about the weather. "Is it hot?" he yelled. 

"NO, it's not hot," I yelled back.

"Is it cold?" he asked.

"Nope. Not too cold either."

"It's pretty much perfect," he said.

And once again, I just started thinking about how perfect it really was. Yes, the weather was perfect, but not just that. Everything. My new home is pretty much perfect. My new job is pretty much perfect. My family is pretty much perfect. Ah....another moment.

Then on Tuesday I started a 3 day training called EBLI (Evidence Based Literacy Instruction). There were only about 12 people there for training, and before the class started I noticed an old woman standing in the back of the room. She seemed too old to be a teacher and I watched her husband (I assumed) tell her to take good notes, and hug her, give her a kiss, and walk out. Hmmmm....that was odd for a teacher training...

Once the training began, everyone had to take a turn introducing themselves and tell what school they were from and what grades they taught. When it was the old woman's turn to share, she stated that her grandson was having a very difficult time with his reading and that she was there so that she could help him. 

Gulp. This was a $1500 training, and this old woman was there solely for her 9 year old grandson because nothing else has helped him successfully learn how to read. My heart was so happy for that little boy, and once again it got me thinking. The first thing that I thought about was a different little boy that I tested last week on his letters. When I pointed to the letter "F" he told me that he didn't know what the letter was called, and he didn't know what sound it made, but he knew it meant Facebook. Now, you might laugh about that, but really, it's not funny. If we were all as concerned with the learning and development of our children as that grandmother is, the world would be a better place.

I must say that after 2 days of EBLI training I finally feel equipped with the skills necessary to help struggling readers! And that has also left me thinking... I have been a teacher for 11 years, and for the first time I really feel like I am going to be able to help that group of kids that just doesn't pick up on reading as easily as other kids. That is an awesome feeling!

So, for those of you who have been asking, "How's the new job?" "How's the new house?" "How's the new school year?"

The answer...pretty much perfect.

 

 

 

 

Laugh About It.

After last weekend's 18 miles of running torture, I was understandably dreading the 20 miler that was on the training plan for Saturday morning at 6:30. First off, I feared a repeat of unexpected emergency potty breaks in the woods. Next, I was really quite sick of getting up before the sun every single day. And finally, it had been about 3 years since I'd run 20 miles and I could still remember just exactly how uncomfortable my body is with that distance. It hurts. And if anyone tells you differently, they are lying.

But it didn't really matter that all of those fears and complaints were going through my head. I was going to do the run because that's what I do. Sign up for races, write out a training schedule, then stick to it as closely as possible. So far this plan has gotten me to every finish line I've been up against!

And thank goodness I have friends that are just as crazy as me. Three of us met up at 6:30 for our 20 miler. We kicked out the first 11 miles with ease, and even picked up a 4th friend for the last 9 miles. Things were pretty relaxed and I was honestly feeling like I was on top of the world. Then, around mile 15 the aches and pains were starting to set in. Every walk break made the aching more prominent. One of my sweat sisters was having an especially difficult time. Running long distances can do this to you. It can take every ounce of self confidence you have and stomp all over it, leaving you questioning what in the world you were thinking and how in the world are you ever going to reach your goal. This is where she was at mentally. 

Luckily, I was not in that place at that moment. I was still feeling pretty good about this whole thing (heck, I hadn't even had one "use the woods as a toilet" emergency yet!). But really, my friend was struggling with her confidence on this run. So, what are we to do in this situation? Well, if you're me, you try to talk about lots of things that will change the subject and take everyone's mind off of what exactly is happening at that moment. And what, you may ask, would I bring up? Well, how about the time I literally pooped my pants on an 18  mile run and had to walk home the last 2 miles quite uncomfortable? Yup, that'll do it! Because you may feel pretty bad on this 20 mile run, but you probably aren't going to poop your pants. And, to make it even better, I was not the only one who had a fantastically funny story about the time that, as an adult, she pooped her pants. Yup. It happens.

Lots of crappy stuff happens to us. And, when it does, we have the option to laugh about it, or cry about it. Believe me, when that actually happened, I didn't think it was all that funny. But it sure made for a comical and distracting story at just the right time. And yes, I've known, and run with, these girls for about 3 years and it's the first time those stories have been brought to the table. So let's keep that on the DL. (***Insert winking emoticon...) 

In the end, we all finished our 20 miler feeling extremely happy to have it over with, and entirely proud to have done it. It was just a training run, but come on now, who really gets up at 5:30am on a Saturday to run 20 miles in the woods?!?!

Do what you love. Love what you do. 

Don't be afraid to make mistakes, have bad days, be crabby, or just feel defeated. But get back up and get back at it.

And most of all, don't be afraid to laugh at yourself. It's so much more fun than the alternative.

I Think I'm Done...

Sunday morning I did something I thought I'd never do. I set my alarm for 4:30 am and got up in the dark to go on a headlamp run through the wooded trails. If you're wondering why this is such a big deal, the answer is quite simple...I'm afraid of the dark. Yup. I admit it. Being outside in the woods at night when the sun is still sleeping totally freaks me out. But that was the only way that I could have company for my 18 mile training run, so I sucked it up and never let anyone know that I was completely terrified about the whole thing.

So, when the alarm went off at 4:30am and I wasn't feeling well, it did not help the situation. Once again, my vertigo was giving me problems. I decided to start my morning off with some Alka Seltzer to help alleviate my spinning head. Unfortunately, my stomach didn't like that idea and I ended up in the bathroom a few times before walking out the door at 5:00am. Ugh. That was not the start I was hoping for.

By the time I got to the trails to meet the girls I was feeling very anxious (aka...unsure and wanting to crawl back in bed) about the whole adventure. But their enthusiasm wore off a little and I was ready to hit the trails, headlamp and Camel Back in place. 

 

Once we started running, I have to admit that the dark woods hardly bothered me at all. We heard an owl in the distance, a deer ran across the trail ahead of us, and we even heard coyotes howling! But our lamps lit the way enough to ease my fears. The biggest problem was how awful I felt. After only 7 miles of running (and 2, YES 2!, unplanned emergency potty breaks in the woods, IN THE DARK) I was ready to say the words I had been thinking for about 6 miles, "I think I'm done." I couldn't stop thinking about how badly I did not want to be running anymore. I felt horrible and I just wanted to go back to bed. 

But the fact was, I was already out of bed and out in the woods running. I needed to get 18 miles of running in, one way or another (because this 50K isn't going to run itself!). So, I continued on, thanks to the support of my sweat sisters! Let me tell you, I was NOT the most fun running buddy that morning. 

Finally, after only 13 miles of running (and 3 emergency potty breaks), I really was done. The clock said it was time for me to head to church. Once again, all I wanted to do was go back to bed. I still felt miserable. But, being a girl who likes to stick to her plans, I headed to church. Then I went home and back to bed. Two and a half hours later I woke up feeling much better and headed out to finish the last 5 miles of my run solo. I did it. 18 miles logged on Sunday, and I really was done. 

 

 Don't stop until you're done.

What Inspires You?

Over the last week, a few things have happened that are really leaving me questioning what inspires people. What makes people want to do their best? What makes them get out there every day and push themselves beyond their comfort level? Just what is that motivating factor?

I first started pondering this thought last Sunday during my long run. I had been dreading that particular run because I had to do it solo. 13 miles in the middle of the day, by myself. Yuck. But, to my great joy, just shortly after hopping on the running path, I caught up with a girl and invited myself to run with her. (Yup, I totally hijacked her run for my own selfish needs. And it worked! At least 4 of my miles went by fast!) While we were running along chatting it up, I asked her if she was training for a race. She said, "No, I just run for fitness." Ok. Fair enough. Then she asked me how far I was running, and I said 13 miles. She responded, "OH! I've done that once! It was so much fun. I hope to do it again some day." My response, of course, was to ask her what race it was that she had done (since a half marathon is 13.1 miles). She laughed and said, "It wasn't a race. It was just for fitness."

In that instant it hit me that my biggest motivating factor for running is to be able to complete (and sometimes even COMPETE in) races. If I didn't sign up for races and have an end goal in mind, I would not continue to run. I sure as heck would not be going out and running 13 miles for fun, or simply for my "fitness." It honestly leaves me flabbergasted that someone could be that driven by an end goal of maintaining fitness. Yes, that's an awesome goal, but where is the fun in it?! I guess I need a fun factor, and a specific date to be aiming at to keep me going.

And, it just so happens that while I was out there doing that mostly-solo run on Sunday afternoon, there were A LOT of people out there completing Ironman events at the exact same time. In fact, Ironman Louisville and Michigan Titanium (both of the Ironman events that I have completed) took place last Sunday. So then, of course, I started thinking about what even led me to sign up for my first Ironman. What was that motivating factor? I'd say that the number one thing was that my sister wanted to do it, and she wanted me to do it with her. (I am really big on doing races with family or friends!) And probably the second biggest motivating factor was that when I told my mom I might sign up for an Ironman, the first thing she said to me was, "You can't swim 2.4 miles!" HA! I quickly learned that the fastest way to get me motivated to do something is to tell me I can't do it! That might have been the first time that anyone had ever told me to my face that they didn't think I could do something. I didn't like it! And at that moment I had something to prove. (Please note that my mom has always been my biggest cheerleader, and she has always led me to believe that I can do anything I put my mind to. She supported me through all of my training and I think deep down she knew I could do it. It was just a moment of fear. No one wants their child to set a goal they can't reach! And the Ironman is a HUGE goal to set!)

And the final thing over the last week that led me to question the whole idea of motivation was talking to a coworker and being elated to find out that she has been inspired by my blog to start training for her first 5k! How awesome is that?! She said that knowing it's not easy for me either has helped her to be more accepting that it's not easy for her. So my whining and complaining about how hard it is has actually been useful! Wahoo! Just knowing that I am doing something to motivate anyone out there to get up and do something is enough to keep me going. 

So, with some self-reflecting this week I have come to the conclusion that I am motivated by races, people challenging my abilities, and knowing that I am inspiring others to set and reach new goals. But there are lots of other little things that help me stay on track. Reading motivational books and blogs helps me. I love Kristin Armstrong's writings! Searching Pinterest for inspirational quotes sometimes gets me excited for a run.  And sometimes I just need to recruit friends to run with (or to call me out for not running!).

What motivates you? Think about it. Figure it out. Then use it to your advantage. The more tools you have in your tool box, the more likely you are to succeed. Set yourself up for success!

Sparkle. Pounce. Boom.

     

Changing My Attitude

Yesterday was my first official day to report back to work. Summer vacation is officially over. As you can imagine, I have been filled with many moments of self pity and feelings of "poor me" over the last week. To all of you teachers out there, you get it. To the rest of you who want to throw things at me right now, I'm sorry. But it really is tough to say good-bye to the lazy days of summer and say hello to 8 hour days full of professional development. Yesterday was especially rough. I was in a room with about 260 other teachers and administrators who were all feeling the same as me...sad that summer is over, still half asleep, anxious for the new year and all of the stresses that it brings. Basically, by the end of the LONG day, I wanted to crawl in a corner and hide. I was not feeling at all ready to face the challenges that the year is going to bring. 

Then, last night, something inside of me decided that I would not accept today's professional development (or really just the fact that we are back at work) to bring me, or any of my coworkers, down. I was going to be the sparkle that brought a smile to my coworkers face and just made the day happier. I made a plan of attack and went to bed.

The first essential step to my diabolical sparkle and sunshine plan was to make sure I looked as cute as possible. Now, you might be laughing at this, but I assure you that it was an important and successful part of the plan. When you try your best to look your best, you exude a certain amount of confidence that draws people to you. Plus, you get compliments on how cute you look and that makes everyone happier! 

The next part of my plan included a quick stop at Tim Horton's to pick up 3 dozen donuts for my coworkers. Bam. I just brought the sunshine. Who doesn't love a surprise donut for breakfast?! I could tell that everyone was already happier than they were yesterday.

The final part of my plan to make today a better day was that I made a conscious decision to remain actively involved in today's professional development, to take notes, and to stay focused. And it totally worked! I had meaningful discussions, I learned new things, and the time flew by! I changed my attitude, and everything changed.

And then, as if just to reward me for being such a sunshine spreader, we got out an hour early!!! And then, on top of that, when I was driving home I got a surprise text from one of my sweat sisters asking if I could go for a run. And I COULD! Honestly, I don't think that second days back to work after summer vacation get much better than that. But I can guarantee you that if I would have gone in to work today with the same attitude that I had yesterday, nothing about today would have been any different.

 

 Even as adults, we sometimes need an attitude check. This could be with work, fitness, eating habits, relationships with family and friends...so many things! Make sure that your attitude matches your desired outcome. It's really hard to have a fabulous day when you are in a sour mood!

As my sweat sisters would say...

Sparkle. Pounce. Boom.

And remember, everywhere you go, it's important to bring your own sunshine!

Opportunities

After I had to bail on my trail run Saturday morning, my weekend ended up getting substantially better. 

Getting the boys ready for their triathlon and listening to them voice their anxieties before the race was absolutely priceless. You would have thought that they had stood next to me and listened to every word that has come out of my mouth before every triathlon that I've done. When in actuality, they have never been to one of my triathlons. Here are some of the things they were saying:

How far do we have to go after we turn the corner?

How long is the run?

That swim looks REALLY long.

I think the water is going to be freezing!

How deep is it? What if I can't touch?

They were so cute talking about all of the things that worried them. I assured them that everything would be fine and that all that counted was that they had fun. And they did! (Although the whole time that I ran with Finn from the swim up to transition 1, he told me about how much seaweed there was and how it kept grabbing his legs and making him get stuck. Man, was I laughing inside. I HATE seaweed!!!!)

Both boys had a great race and have been talking about it for the last two days. I love it!!!

But I have to admit, I was completely jealous of their triathlon! (Childish?.....YES!) I haven't done a triathlon since my Ironman last August. I didn't even think I was missing it that much, but watching them out on the course (and seeing the course for a triathlon being set up right next to theirs) made me have an urge to get out there and race! So, I got the details about the race that was being set up. It was an off road triathlon/duathlon the next day at 8:00am. Off road?!?! PERFECT!! It was as if the whole weekend was falling into place!

I waited all day Saturday before I talked to anyone about possibly doing the race. I wanted to make sure that I REALLY wanted to do it. Yup. I sure did! So Saturday night I got approval from Will and loaded up my car. The duathlon was my choice for the race for two reasons. First, I was supposed to be running 12 miles, and if I did the duathlon I would get in 6.2 instead of just 3.1 in the triathlon. Next, I still haven't developed a love for swimming! Hahahaha! Even after Finn's description of the weeds grabbing his feet, it didn't sound like fun!

Race morning I was a little nervous, but I wasn't feeling very well (my migraine induced vertigo has been surfacing again over the last week...ggrrrrr!), so that is really what I was thinking about. I was concerned that I wouldn't even be able to finish the race if the vertigo got any worse, let alone actually do well. But once the race got going I was able to manage fine and could tell that if I maintained a good speed, I would have a chance of placing (duathlons are typically much smaller than triathlons....ssshhhhh!). 

So I pushed through the race as fast as I could. There were points on the course when I literally thought I would never catch my breathe. It was hard! On the second run (it goes run, bike, run) with about 1 mile left I passed the woman that I had been trying to catch for the whole race. There's a chance she swore as I ran by, and I knew I couldn't let down my pace for the last mile. She was ticked off! So I continued to give it my all and finished as the 1st place female for the duathlon, less than 1 minute ahead of her. What an amazing feeling! It has been a LONG time since I've pushed myself that hard, and it felt awesome. (Well, it actually felt like I might throw up, but my heart was happy!)

I got to go home and show the boys my 2 medals (1 for finishing and 1 for placing) and my check for $100! Finally, when they asked how I did I got to say that I won!! It may never happen again, but it happened yesterday.

If I wouldn't have had to cancel my 12 mile trail run Saturday morning I definitely wouldn't have done that race. It just goes to show that everything happens for a reason. Always have your eyes open to other opportunities. Something amazingly fun and awesome is out there waiting for you!